In this essay, I discuss an interview held with Francesca Ulanday, a first-generation Filipina American who is non-binary. In the interview, we have a conversation centered around interpreting gender identity in the LGBTQ+ Community and how she arrived in realizing she was non-binary. 

Interpreting Identity: Attempting to Understand Gender Identity in the LGBTQ+ Community

 During the past few years, the LGBTQ+ Community has been becoming more and more prominent in society. With this increase in their presence and pride in their identity, it has become a commonplace to interact with people who are either not straight in their sexuality or do not identify as cisgendered. However, growing up in a traditional Catholic Dominican family, being involved in friend groups that are mainly straight cisgendered males, and being a straight male myself, has led me to little exposure to people who are part of the LGBTQ+ Community. Thus, I am very uneducated in gender identity and different sexualities. So, I was left asking myself, what really is gender identity? My curiosity of the LGBTQ+ community combined with their increased growth and recognition made me more inclined in understanding gender perception and identity deeper. Through interviewing a friend, I will strive to understand how my informant’s viewpoint on how gender norms and labels have caused a realization in her identity.

My informant’s name is Francesca Ulanday (she/they), and she is a non-binary person who grew up in a Filipino immigrant household with her mother and sister. Francesca and I have been friends for almost 14 years now, so we know each other very well, but I never really understood her recent transition from female to non-binary. After asking her some questions during the interview I gained some new insight on what it is like to experience a transition in identity; her perspectives on societal gender norms, and non-binary being under the umbrella term of transgender. A key concept that relates to all of the topics mentioned was the idea of labels and gender norms driving the definition of gender identity in society. In the interview, she essentially stated that it was the female gender norms that society imposes on women that made her have an identity crisis. She first realized that she didn’t fit into what is perceived as femininity in high school and she states, “…for my entire high school years I was always switching aesthetics trying to get this aesthetic or that aesthetic. Sometimes I would know, if a certain aesthetic, won’t appeal to men but, I’m still going to dress the way I want to. The fact that how I looked wasn’t being validated by men, made me realize I don’t need to identify as a woman”. Even though this statement represents Francesca’s understanding of a “normal” feminine appearance needing to be validated or accepted by men, femininity itself can be interpreted in many different ways and it could mean different things to different people.

Francesca also explained that societal labels restrict what is perceived as identity. In her own personal process of transitioning to non-binary it made her feel free from society defining what she can and cannot do based on her identity. As I was questioning her in the interview and gaining her perspective, I realized that there really is no difference between the way we think regardless of how we identify. I have a rather open mind towards things, and I see things as open to interpretation and she sees gender as limitless. The concept of identifying as non-binary corresponds with her definition of gender as something that is open, “I feel like gender and sexuality are open like they don’t like exist. Well, they exist but like, it’s just like, an open space”. Thus, there are no restrictive societal labeling/gender norms that people can enforce, which allows Francesca to be herself without any boundaries imposed. It seems that a core idea of her definition of gender identity is being comfortable in her own skin and not having to conform to certain standards to be accepted in society.

What is gender identity in the LGBTQ+ Community and how can we begin to understand gender identity? Based on my informant’s passionate views on gender norms eventually being an important aspect of her transition, I was able to comprehend that gender is limitless, boundless, and an “open space”. However, this is not the only interpretation of what identity is and gender norms are not the only cause for the wide variation in gender and sexuality we see today. In fact, there are more and more interpretations of gender identity developing every day. I began this interview not knowing much about gender and I now understand the confusing and happy emotions that come with making your true self known.